Why Do Alzheimer's Caregivers Torture Themselves?

For several years, I tortured myself psychologically and emotionally. To this day I look back and ask myself, why?

By Bob DeMarco 
Alzheimer's Reading Room

Saint Genesius

Alzheimer's is a sinister disease. It robs the patient of the ability to remember, to think, and effects mood and behavior often in a negative way.

Alzheimer's disease (AD) eventually robs the patient of the ability to do things we take for granted -- like buttoning a button.

Alzheimer's often robs patients of the ability to say "yes", so instead they say what comes easiest -- No.

These new and often bizarre changes brought on by Alzheimer's can feel like torture to an Alzheimer's caregiver. This explains in part why a large fraction of caregivers, up to 40 percent, suffer from depression.

The other day I answered a question by saying, "its the job of Alzheimer's to torture you". Later on as I thought about those words, I was surprised that I used the word "torture". Surprised until I remembered that I once thought, "Alzheimer's is trying to kill me". Alzheimer's kills the brain of the person living with Alzheimer's. It will also try and kill the spirit of the Alzheimer's caregiver.

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Creating Moments of Joy: A Journal for Caregivers, Fourth Edition Original content Bob DeMarco, The Alzheimer's CareGiver